- Play with any animal
- Groom any animal
- Drink alone
- Vacuum under the furniture
- Communicate in any way with your mother
Monthly Archives: July 2010
Don’t take a job where one of your serious drinking buddies works if you’re meaning to take the job seriously. The last thing you want is Franky telling everyone within an earshot how you stripped naked outside Wrigley last Saturday night or laugh out loud about the repulsive skank walking out of your apartment last Wednesday morning.
The very same people who control your destiny might be on the other side of the cubicle.
I will be standing near the corner of Irving Park and Western tonight from 10:20 pm – 10:30 pm. Please do not approach me.
I received a Friend Request from a guy that slept with my girlfriend back in college. I guess he thought she would keep that a secret. Me and “Joe” had some mutual friends back in the day, we shared a few beers and lies, etc, etc. He knew when he slept with her that we had been dating for a couple of years, so according to the Guy Code, I could have rightfully stomped his ass into the ground. But, by the time I found out, we had been broken up for about a year.
Needless to say, I found out years later that the skank screwed five other guys while I was away at school. Looking back I should have known she was a skank. She loved to party, a lot, but never wanted to go to her usual spots when I was home. She was a freak. She would have sex anywhere, anytime with me (and other guys too, obviously). And something I didn’t put together until about five years ago. She would always call me late on the weekends, like to make sure I was at school and not back home, able to see her boinkin’ some dude in his car.
Anyway, I sort of want to accept the asshole’s friend request, then post something about what I know. But, this is a chance to take the high road, right?